Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
