her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
