he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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