Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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