a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
