And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
