i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
