Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think my vagina is haunted
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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