You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
