Christians are straight up FREAKS
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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