ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
