i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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