this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When are your genitals available?
We're too hungover to prance.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
