The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
