There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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