You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
