Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
