Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
