I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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