That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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