You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
