Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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