It's Friday. Sex?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
