Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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