I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
