Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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