I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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