i think my tv is drunk
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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