I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
