I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
