Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize