he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
