Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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