things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
