I looked at my own cervix.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
