HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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