this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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