the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize