are you still at the devil's house?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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