yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
