shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
