bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
