Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
