Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just threw up on my dentist
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
vagina is talking i cant
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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