Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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