i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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