my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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