I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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