I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
