my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
