yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize