This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
