I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
