I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
