wakey wakey hands off snakey
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
