I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
