We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
