My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
