I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize