A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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