Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
