when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
